1. Visualize a relaxing scene when you visit.
  2. Walk away from unnecessary conflict.
  3. Give and receive a hug.
  4. Sip a cup of tea together.
  5. Believe in the power of forgiveness.
  6. Set a realistic goal for your visit.
  7. Plan the subjects of your conversation beforehand.
  8. Be well rested before your visit.
  9. Confront your feelings.
  10. Count your blessings!

What techniques do you use?  Do you have any to add to this less?  Let me know.


Negative emotions can cause stress which affects all aspects of our lives, including behaviors, our thinking ability, and physical health. Stress is a body’s method of reacting to a perceived or real challenge. If stress is left unchecked, it can display itself in many ways that effect our health negatively. No part of the body is immune.

Stress causes the body to release the hormone cortisol, which is produced by the adrenal glands. During periods of increased stress, “the immune cells are being bathed in molecules which are essentially telling them to stop fighting,” according to Dr. Esther Sternberg. This makes the body more susceptible to disease. Stress can raise your blood pressure, cause rashes, aches and pains.

Stress can also affect your respiratory and cardiovascular systems, making your heart pump faster, and sometimes making it hard to breathe. In addition to all of this, during stress the sex hormone called androgens are released which can result in temporary hair loss according to Dr. Roberta Sengelmann.  Did you know that stress can even affect your menstrual cycle?

Here are 5 ways to reduce your level of stress in your mother/daughter relationship.

  1. Acknowledge your mother’s or daughter’s concern (Listening rather than being defensive and confrontational goes a long way)
  2. Respond rather than react (remember you can’t change your mother, but you can change the way YOU respond.
  3. Honor each other’s feelings. (Sometimes there is no right or wrong, just a difference of opinions)
  4. Treat each other with respect (Disrespectful criticism and contempt only fuels conflicts)
  5. Get help (sometimes we are so close to the problem, we can’t be objective)

Hope this information helps you navigate through the challenges of your mother and adult daughter relationships.


Mother’s Day Can Bring Sadness

Mother’s Day can be a very celebratory day or a sad day.  For some daughters whose mothers have passed, it can be a sad day because their mother is no longer with them. This day is usually a day of remembrance. Hopefully, most daughters have happy memories of their mothers and can celebrate this day.  Unfortunately, there will be some daughters who have negative feelings and sad memories about their mothers.

For daughters whose mothers are still alive, and have a poor relationship with their mother, this can also be a sad day.  If Mother’s Day brings you sadness, focus on your yourself and your own strengths. Don’t put yourself in a situation that will bring additional conflict.  If this means not spending time with your mother, don’t feel guilty. If possible spend time with your children, grandchildren, or even a close friend. You can always spend the time, giving yourself uplifting affirmations.

Although this day can be difficult, especially when most people are celebrating,  I would suggest using this day as a day to focus on forgiveness and remembering, that no matter who your mother was, or how she treated you, she gave you the greatest gift of all, ‘LIFE”.

Mother’s Day

May 14th 2017 is Mother’s Day.  This is a poem that I thought was very appropriate for my blog.  Do you see you and your mother in the words? Tell me what you think.

Mothers and daughters ought to be friends,
But there is a lot that gets in the way.
The determined pursuit of opposite ends,
Ends up as harsh words we would rather not say.

Yet storms tend to pass, and passions abate,
And love to outlast the days of despair,
And comfort to come to those who would wait,
And friendships to flourish in those who forbear.

So we must be patient, and fight, if we must,
With the knowledge that love will endure what we do.
The anger is wind, and the angels are dust,
But love will be waiting whenever we’re through.

Copyright by Nicholas Gordon